Lessons at WalMart

I just wanted to share with you an experience we had yesterday in WalMart that helped me realize the blessings we hold.

Alan, Holly and I went to WalMart to do that last minute, I have procrastinated AGAIN Thanksgiving shopping trip.

While we were in the produce section, there was a young mother who seemed to be shopping with her mother. I noticed she turned around and fell apart crying. Her mother reached out to her and hugged her and rubbed and patted her back and tried to console her. I knew something was wrong, really wrong, but I just wasn't sure what. I said a quick prayer and was hoping I could some how reach out to her and offer comfort, if the Lord meant me to.

We moved on and Alan began saying how bad he felt. I asked him what he was talking about and he asked me if I had seen the girl crying. I had. He said that she turned around, saw him and broke down crying. (He was dressed in his Army ACUs, due to him not having any clean civilian clothes!) He, Alan, explained how bad he felt for making her cry and how he should have washed so he didn't have to wear the ACUs.

Anyway, we moved on and passed the girl and her mother several times down various isles, each time she was shedding tears. I was in the lead going down the aisle, as I turned to go down the next isle I realized Alan and Holly were not behind me. After a few minutes, my arms full of stuff, here they came. Alan's face was beet red and Holly was smiling, Al was too. He informed me that the girl walked over to him and said, "Thank you for your service. I am sorry I was crying, but my husband is in Iraq and when I saw you I fell apart."

We saw her again, and this time (knowing now the source of her tears) I stopped and gave her a hug. Yes, you know me, I was boo-hooing right along with her. She informed me that he began his Iraqi tour three months ago and she missed him so much. She has three children, and from what I could tell, a great family.

This was a moment of pure blessing on so many levels. I was blessed to share a moment with another military family who were hurting, blessed that Alan has not been called out to serve in such a way yet, although his unit is being deployed in July.....thank goodness for school, blessed with health, a job, life, love, and pure joy. What a moment! It made me realize how blessed we are to have this day together; healthy, happy and hungry with a table FULL of delicious food and desserts.

Of all the people at WalMart, she was the only one that came up and thanked him for serving. Not that you expect anyone to say anything to him, I really didn't expect it at all and am always caught off guard when it does happen, I just couldn't believe she was thanking him even while in the midst of sadness and longing to see her husband. I found it ironic that one military family was thanking another. Here she was in a deep moment of grief and she was thanking him. I still can't get past that act of thanks. I guess I have a lot to learn about being a military mom.

I will be remembering those today that are not as fortunate as I am in so many ways. Today is not only a day of thanks for me, it will also be a day of remembrance of those who do not have the comforts we do, including those whose family members are too far away serving this country and giving the gift of sacrife. Sacrifice, it touches each one of us by keeping the freedoms we enjoy, without realizing what has been given.

This sweet young mother brought those sacrifices close to me and reality hit. Although we are not sacrificing in the way this family is; we have not forgotten that one day there is a large chance we probably will. That thought is what hits hard in moments such as this.

I am asking you to remember those that are serving us on this Thanksgiving day, and their families.

By the way, if you see a soldier, please thank him/her. You never know what kind of sacrifices he/she is making.....seeing them smile is worth it...they are too. They hear too much negative, they need a boost. Their thought on the subject is that people just don't care about them anymore, this is so untrue. I, personally, want them to know that I do care, and appreciate them! I know you do too!

Well, again I have procrastinated! I have a full array of things I need to cook, or the Thanks will be given to the person working the Jack in the Box drive through! (Another blessing, we are all off today!)

May God richly bless each of you today!

The Library

You will never guess what I am doing right now.....sitting in the parking lot of the library waiting on it to open. I pulled up and got my stuff out of the car, a lot of stuff, and started to walk up to the door, then I saw it....the HOURS OF OPERATION!! Monday - Friday, 10a.m. to 9 p.m.! ARGH! I thought, maybe, if I would just go to the library today to work on my papers I would get so much more done. Well, here I sit....wasting time. There are others sitting around waiting too, each of us gauking at the other and getting our things together so we can make a mad dash to the door just to see who can get in first!

However, I AM able to get a SLIGHT signal for the internet, if I tilt my head to the right and place my tongue slightly to the left of my mouth....what a sight! All the other people are just sitting there staring at the door while the custodian cleans it.

I have 7 days left before I start the long-term teaching job SO I really have to get these last 7 papers done. Late nights will be on my agenda for the next couple of weeks. Needless to say, my life is most crowded with those things staring me in the eyes. WHAT was I ever thinking, going back to school at my age?? Everyone keeps telling me that it is going to pay off in the "long run"....yeah, LONG...that is the word that is making me CRAZY!!!

Well, say a little prayer for me today as I try to muddle through more history papers. Hopefully this will be a productive day.

I just looked at the door and people are huddling close waiting on the librarians to open the door. Wait.....oh my, one is causing the window to frost....and they JUST CLEANED IT!! :) Oh well, she must have papers to write too! I can't wait until I can come to the library just to read a book! (One I would LIKE to read!!)

Well, I am heading out now....I have to push the lady at the window out of the way so I can get a good seat!

Later!

Writing, Writing.....WRITING....

Well, I am still at it....yes, writing papers.....papers...and MORE PAPERS!!!! I have to have 16 written by November 14th!! I have gotten four done. All I can say is that I am busy so if you have anything fun going on, please don't call! Offering something fun to me would only make me daydream! Heck, right now even scrubbing a toilet sounds like something fun....YIKES!!

I have to keep telling myself that one of these days I am not going to have to read only school books. I will actually, one of these days, be able to read something that I can ENJOY! I am so tired of reading history. I LOVE history, really I do, I am just tired of reading it....if that makes sense!

Well, I just wanted to give a line as to where I am in life. Hope to come out of my cell soon! HA!

Grown Up

Well, the time has come now to allow our oldest to spread his wings. I thought I had done that, but I was informed that I have not. How does a mother go about doing that? I have no idea. Does it mean not to care if they eat breakfast? How about keeping them in check on the things of life? I am not sure of the process of letting go, this is my first time. I surely don't want to be the type of mother that drives her kids nuts with all of her antics. I am going to try extra hard not to do that.

Today I am working hard to not be the mom of a teen, but a mom of a young man. I may need some help in that area. Any hints you may have will be greatly appreciated. Some of the hints I have received are things such as; don't hoover over him, don't call every day, don't sing him to sleep, don't go and rescue him.....unless he needs money!

I don't know, I hear the empty nest is a good thing, so far it is not my favorite part of life but I know it will get better with time. I feel so old. Well, I need to go get the walker ready, I have to take a kid to school! :)

Life

Life.....
Can get you down sometimes,
Can be tough, hard and somewhere in between.

Life.....
Can be joyous and fulfilling, even in the times of trial.
Is worth it all; the good and the bad, the happy and the sad.

Yesterday was a tough day for us as a family. Again, we were faced with having to bind together and get through. We did it. Today we awoke to a gorgeous cool and sunny day, a day God planned for us to experience. What joy! Tomorrow will come, but today is here.

I have praised the Lord for the day, and also for the struggles; I know they are here to make us stronger in many ways, but mostly my faith. The struggles are nothing compared to struggles of many, but they are struggles none the less. No one is dead, or sick......only tired.

I have a choice to make today. I am choosing to not let the circumstances determine my mood, nor will it determine the character I will exhibit. I am reminded that a person's true character is revealed when life becomes tough. I am going to try today to allow my character shine past the difficulties.

Today I am choosing to smile......
are you?

Facing My Own Reality!

Today started as any other, well...that would be stretching it a bit, however, it started with me flying out of bed and running for shoes, yes, I guess that would be pretty normal. Hang on, there is more to the story...

Yesterday, Sunday, my youngest daughter woke up ill with a stomach virus and was sick all day and into the night. YUCK!

I was so tired when I went to bed and had a hard time winding down, as I normally do...too much on my mind, so needless to say the replay button in my thoughts keeps being punched, and punched again and again....you get the picture. Finally, sweet sleep found me...

UNTIL...... the phone rang at 5 minutes after 7! OH MY GOODNESS, the little girl that Holly and I normally pick up was waiting for us to take her to school! Holly is diplomatically trying to explain to her that she was sick and not going to school. HELLO......we STILL have to go get the sweet child...we are responsible for making sure she is there on time! I was blindly trying to find my shoes, my hair was going a million different ways and I have no idea if the shoes I eventually found were actually ones that matched...all I knew was that they felt like they were on the right feet! I felt SO BAD when I pulled up in the driveway and she was standing out there waiting on me! DUH! I guess I won't be winning the "Carpool Mom of the Year Award"! Well, just so you will know, we did make it to school on time. I was trying to lean my head against the window to keep everyone from seeing my new Meddoussa hair-do. I am sure my hairdresser would have died to have seen it like that. To top it off I think I saw a couple of students pointing and laughing, shameful!!

Well, on the way home I began to ponder my idiocracy and why things like that happen when I am in control, or lack of is more the correct phrase to use. I have always blamed it on my blonde hair, however....just between you and me....most of my blonde now comes from a bottle, and what use to really be blonde is more like a dark brown something or other, the rest of it is that horrid gray color...sorry mom! I guess I can now officially throw the blonde excuse out of the window. Well, I AM getting older, they say forgetfulness is something that happens. Maybe that will be the next excuse I begin to utilize in my quest for trying to have a valid excuse for my disorganization....oops did I just let the cat out of the bag??

Okay, yes, confession.....I AM DISORGANIZED AND IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS!! I am working on it though. They say recognizing the problem is the first step toward defeating it, maybe I am on my way!

My husband is the complete opposite. I guess God allowed us to meet so he can help me out and I can drive him insane. Driving him nuts really is not my ultimate goal, but somehow I accomplish it so well. Most of my friends are well organized, you would think some of that would rub off on me, no luck as of yet. I guess I need to put forth more effort, but if I did and I became more organized....what would I do with all the time I would save when normally I am running around late because I couldn't find my keys??!

I guess I need to think about that.....probably tonight while I am trying to go to sleep....

Addiction...

Addiction, a demon that sucks the life out of its victim, many times without the victim recognizing what is happening. The aggressor, i.e. addiction, comes a little at a time and is somewhat hard to recognize, at first. By the time recognition takes place, it is in full force and hard to contain, much less overcome.

I believe everyone has some form of addictive traits within. The personal response to the demon is key to whether it is going to destroy character, or build character.

How can an addiction "build character" you ask? Well, to stand against such a monster takes a great deal of fortitude, stamina, courage and downright determination! Those are character traits that should be coveted by all. They are attainable, but only through trials, which many are not ready, nor willing, to stand against.

I am writing this blog because addiction has made a tremendous mark in the lives of myself and my family. There are many woes to report, not one victory as of yet, but I am still praying for deliverance. Deliverance from a disease that has had tremendous ramifications placed upon our family as a whole. A disease that has shaken us to our core. A disease in which all we can do is sit and watch, and pray. A disease that breaks my heart.

This demon has been raising its ugly head for about fifteen years, and now is a complete whirlwind around us, we believe catastropic destruction is approaching rapidly. As the storm becomes deeper, darker, and wider, we wait. What we are waiting on is unbeknown to each of us, but still we wait and watch. So many times we have thrown out the life raft, only to have it rejected and thrown back to us in total refusal. The storm has become even darker now, the winds stronger, and our hopes dashed upon the jagged rocks next to the shore, a shore where we wait with the waves lapping at our feet, unable to help.

Lies and deception are all a part of the victims as they desperately search for that next fix that allows them to keep their heads above the angry waves that are deperately trying to pull them under the current. The sad thing is the victims see themselves as swimming along and fail to see the storm that has engulfed them. Blindly they go, day by day, in a complete haze of disillusionment and paranoia that digs its claws even into the bystanders on the beach.

In the midst of the torrential rains that begin to pour down on the bystanders, a crowd approaches. Within the crowd are those that truly care about the bystanders and they offer their words of what they feel is help and encouragement. You hear shouts of, "Well, if it were me I would....", and "Let them drown...", also "Do away with them...". Each phrase spoken in true love of the bystanders, but not one of them have experienced their loved ones in the waves of the storm. At this, the bystanders shrink away and beg the crowd to disperse. The bystanders, at their own choosing, are then left to watch the storm, alone, because they feel no one cares or understands, and carries the shame without help.

Sleepless nights begin. There is a recognition of the the need for sleep, but the sleep that is attained is restless because the sound of the storm is still being heard, there is no escape. Tears fall and the heavy heart finds no relief.

Answers? I wish I had them. We search, no luck. The only answer is prayer.

The storm may not dissipate, the addiction may hang on, but there is a promise in which an Awesome God states, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." One of the bystanders reminded me that we have to realize that "His grace is suficient for us all." I thought I understood what that meant, I am grasping a new understand within the storm. No matter what the storm brings, He is there and able to sustain me....if I only reach out and grab His hand.

Beauty

I watched as she was running into class this morning. Her hair was hanging in ringlets and bouncing around her shoulders. I could not stop smiling. Oh sure she was late to class and as her mother I should have, and normally would have, lectured her on the virtue of being prompt, but today, for some reason, was different. I was thinking of something more important.... time.
I was caught up in a moment of awe. She is a beautiful creature. I kept thinking how blessed I am to be her mother. She is now a senior in highschool, I can't believe it. Where in the world did the time go?

I wish there were time machines, I would take a trip. The trip I would take would involve me being 17 years younger and holding
her in my arms again. I cherish the memories of those bright toothless smiles in the morning when she would wake, coos and giggles, bath times, slobbery kisses, oh....and the beautiful weed bouquets! Time passes so quickly.

We get caught up in the day to day cycles of our lives and we miss out, sometimes we miss things even when physically present. I think about times she has spoken to me and I was too deep in thought to hear. Times I felt something, or someone, else demanded my attention. I sure hope she understood, I believe she did. I wish I could have time back, but I can't.

Even though I can't bring time back there is more ahead. More time for long talks about life. More time for telling jokes, laughing, and yes... crying.


Totally understanding time is fleeting past brings me to the reality of living fully in this day.


Why has it taken so much "time" to figure this out? I don't know, but I do know that my time today is slipping by. I am going to go and make the most of THIS day.

Jen, I love you...