The Pity Party

The internet, grape juice, and a laptop is probably not the best combination for a late-night, non-alcohol drinking, internet surfing, looking for answers, such as myself, especially last night, kind of person.

I read horror story after horror story about the debilitation my new "friend" "Crohns", could "possibly" bring upon my life, fascinating......not.

I plunged myself into a depressed state of mind , and, in the midst of my "woe is me" perspective, decided to have a pity party, including tears , for most of the remnants of the night.
The pity party was inclusive of three participants; Me, Myself and I, and we were content on the party staying exclusive of all others, for the most part. (For those of you who know me, you recognize, I would hope, that this is not a part of my character. How did I come to such a point that I would have a self-absorbed pity party? I am still astonished to have found myself in such a quandary of thought.)

The accounts of ill bouts people shared were horrid, but the horror was not what reduced me to the weeping disarray mentioned above, it was, in actuality, two simple words, "chronic illness".
So the party raged on through the night, until the wee hours of the morning.

Myself, one of the party attendees, looked up and sighed, "How can this happen?"
Me, on the other hand, angrily replied, "I just dont have time for this! I have too much planned, too much to see, and too much to do!"

I, being the most realistic of the three, was a bit more contemplative, and felt that what was done was done, the three of us just needed to deal with it, and stop whining because it does nothing to change the circumstances with which we were confronted.

Me and Myself, although a bit smug, and not wanting to have a change of heart, decided they would give an ear to I, and hear her out, grudgingly of course.

I begins by stating the obvious facts of the matter:

1. Life is not always full of sunshine, rain comes for a time, and the flowers only bloom after the water has fallen.
2. Circumstances arise that are beyond our control, our reactions to the circumstances show the character we have been cultivating within the depths of our soul.
3. We must choose each day to either be "victorious over" or "victims of" our circumstances, our attitude is everything.
4. We must never allow our circumstances to dictate who we become.
5. We are not the only ones to ever be affected by illness or circumstance, get over it, deal with it, and move on!

After hearing the arguments made by I, Me and Myself began to feel a little awkward at the emotional state in which they had placed themselves.

Realizing the state of their current circumstance, they became conscious of the fact that their emotional cataclysms were futile; and nothing they did, said, or anything else would change the status quo, nor I's opinion. At this realization, I finally announced, resolutely, that the party was over.

Reluctantly, Me stood and meandered toward the door, looking back a few times just in case I invited her to sit and stay. I opened the door and quickly shoved Me through the threshold and out into the wild blue yonder, firmly slamming the door behind, as if to allow no re-entry.

Now, Myself was not as willing to leave, she still had a few points she felt were relevant to her cause, however, I had taken a stand and refused to be moved. Myself knew the demise of her points, and aversely made her way to the door, trying her best to stay, but knowing I was through with the party, and with her. A long sad stare was cast upon I as Myself slithered past, but I was unmoved. I opened the door and watched as Myself made her way out and into the darkness that encroached the world beyond. I closed and locked the door so the selfishness of Me and Myself would not enter back in.

At this, I drew in a deep breath, and reflected back on the party that had just been had. Disappointment, and a bit of anger, welled up within I for allowing such beasts to dine with her in such a way, but she knew in her heart, it would happen never again.

I knew there was a plan, one rich in victory and hope, one in which I would never be alone. The plan was Gods plan, Gods victory, and a hope that is promised to not disappoint.
Struggles, everyone has them, Jesus had his struggle on the hillside of Calvary, all the way to the cross. I see how Jesus handled His pain, His disappointment and His disparity. I choose today to handle my struggle as He, my Savior and my Lord Jesus Christ, handled His, victoriously! I claim His victory in my life today!

No, no more pity parties here, only plans, dreams and reality.

Struggles..Rejoice!