Nasa...WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

Oh yes we have a problem! A HUGE and I mean HUGE problem!

The other night the kids and I were in the den watching television when all of a sudden we heard something running above our heads….in the ceiling. (Oh yeah!)

Being one that is optimistic about most things, I accounted it as squirrels, the cute fuzzy ones that are so delightful running around out in the yard! I even told the kids that they often climb in and out of attics and that it would be okay. The clamor they were making sounded as if they were rolling boulders around up there. Jennifer’s boyfriend was skeptical about my interpretation of the event, and stated that it sure sounded like more than a squirrel to him. I just shrugged him off as being a kid and not knowing what he is talking about.

Throughout the entire television program the “squirrel” labored…..hmmm…..afterwards he MUST have left the attic because it became quiet. FINALLY!

Well, the next night my husband was home. Now, bless his heart, he is not as optimistic as I tend to be. With him, destruction is seen lurking around every corner….just waiting on it’s next victim. I try not to get my feathers ruffled at his lack of optimism, I usually close my eyes and roll them UNDER my lids….don’t tell him! J The opportunity for his extreme pessimistic attitude began as soon as he entered the den last weekend.

We began hearing our youngest daughter banging around upstairs….the only problem was….SHE was in DALLAS! When I say banging, I mean BANGING! He and I were the only ones home. He began to investigate, (now would be a good time for the theme from The Pink Panther to play in the background of your mind!)

He decided it was not squirrels, as I suggested, but RATS! Not cutesy little mice…..but BIG, SEWER, RATS with FOOTBALL SIZED BODIES AND LONG SKINNEY NAKED TAILS! The kind of RATS with HUGE yellow stained teeth that stick out under their top lip, the kind that go BUMP in the night…..and chew up EVERYTHING in your attic, which they did.

The reasoning behind his assumption was clear found evidence…in the BBQ pit….UGH! The evidence was not something that had been left behind….THEY WERE THERE!!! He lifted the lid and THEY LOOKED UP AT HIM WITH BEADY EYES and LONG NOSES! OH MY GOODNESS! Good thing I am not the finder of such a critter, or dare I say MONSTER! I would have screamed BLOODY MURDER and woken every sleeping being in the Western Hemisphere and beyond!

He decided he would take care of the infestation by COOKING THEM. He turned the fire on HIGH and let them ROAST a bit! SURELY none could live through such an inferno of flames! However, as luck would have it, when the lid was lifted the only thing that was cooked was whatever had been left from the previous cookout. DARN! He had no idea HOW they escaped.

I, being so understanding, had to question his attention span since they were so large…???? How could you NOT see them RUNNING???? I doubt one said to the other, “Let’s tiptoe out SLOWLY and Quietly!” HELLLO?? YOU DIDN”T SEE THEM? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? (I AM laughing now….he was pretty disappointed himself, so I won’t beat him up anymore.)

Well, now we had to make a plan on what to do. Jennifer’s boyfriend had a really “brilliant” idea. He suggested we catch them alive and SELL them. Really now? I told him to feel free to do that. If I am going to catch one, it will have a trap sprung around it’s neck and will definitely NOT be in any condition to be sold! UGH! (Creating a RAT breeding farm in my attic is not on my top “what I want to do with my life list!)

No, we decided, without ANY hesitation, that his idea was not the best option for our situation. My husband came up with a MUCH better plan. He informed me to stop down at the exterminating store and get these big blocks of rat poison. I agreed that if we are going to get them….we will get them good!

So, the next day while I was out running errands……I completely forgot all about the rats….and they continued to build their castle in my attic until the next day…DUH!

My husband, knowing how dingy I am, decided that he needed to go and get it himself….anyway, he needed to make sure it was the right stuff…and I probably would not handle it appropriately….so he did it himself! YEAH!

He brought the blocks home and carefully placed them in the targeted areas in the attic, remember he is a man of perfection…so yes he had targeted areas.

The target areas must have been good ones because that night we only heard silence. I wish I could have seen the party going on up in our attic! I am sure there was feasting on the delicious blocks all night! What joy for the rats….and what joy for me! Silence! I bet their bellies were full and they were fat and happy…UNTIL…. Ha!

There has now been silence in the house for several days. Silence….but there is now another issue that has began to raise it’s ugly head…….

A foul odor has arisen in the kitchen cabinets…

What joy. I hear that could happen. I hear they could fall into the walls and die.

Where did the joy go? Where did the exuberance of the victory go?

I have looked through all the cabinets and can’t find ANYTHING….only a strange odor that lurks…unseen…but definitely NOT un-smelled! What are we going to do now?

My pessimistic husband became suddenly optimistic. As I was complaining about how horrible this might be, he replied…

“Well, at least they are dead!”

I guess I will have to look on the bright side….it only took a dead rat to help him see the glass half full.

I speculate we might be eating out for a while. Watch out Luby’s, here we come!

Scripture says for me to consider any trial as pure joy. (James 1:2-3) Although I don’t really consider this a trial, but I am sure there is a lesson in this for me.

I may have to bear with the stench that could arise and I will try to look upon that are a reflection of my sin in the site of God. (Surely this will help me persevere!) There may be a lesson it that, and maybe, just maybe, I will blog about that one day….if the stench rises to a higher level….I pray not!

However, I am sure there is more to come on the subject….