Happiness With A Side of Chaos

Peace....

2009-10-10T11:23:00.005-05:00

Personally, I am seeking peace today. The peace within, not without. An inner peace that has nothing to do with my circumstances...that can, at times, be more cumbersome than I can handle, or want to handle...as they can be with everyone at some point in life.

I DO know however, even in the most chaotic moments of life....peace can break through and swallow our deepest fears and bring about an immense end to those things that engulf my mind and soul. If I allow it, a clearing of mind and a cleansing of spirit can wash over me, take charge....bring peace...beyond understanding...beyond measure...in the midst...of even the most tumultuous of my circumstances...(of which are not definitive of me).

Yes, today the goal is peace....tomorrow...who knows...maybe the park...

The Few or The Crowd...

2009-02-19T12:48:00.004-06:00

I have to confess something I have been pondering for quiet a while, something that has held my heart and mind captive over the past several days, even weeks, something that I want to know deeply. I sent many of you the thought, and decided I would share with a larger audience.

Here it is...deep breath....

If I were alive when Jesus walked the earth, would I be one of the few, or just a part of the crowd?

I actually cringe when I think of that question. I do know Jesus as Lord and Savior of my life, however, would I really know him if he walked up to me. Would I know him enough to not have to hear an introduction come from his wise lips? Would I be able to look into his passionate eyes and recognize who the man was and what he did for me, without a word?

My best friend can walk up to me, and without a word, I recognize her and know exactly who she is and what she is all about! Would I know Christ my Savior THAT well?!

I pray I would, I long to know him passionately and intimately. I desire to sit at his feet and learn from the greatest teacher of all times, to hear the ardent exclamation of what life is truly about, and how to attain it, or how to love even in the midst of anger, or dislike. How to be satisfied with little or with plenty, and how to gain true happiness in either case. To learn to walk through the storms of life with my head held high, my mind truly focused on the end result, not just focused on the thunder and lightening flashing and clashing around my head. To recognize when I pass through a raging river, he will lead me safely to the other side, scripture tells me, “When you pass THROUGH the river, they will NOT sweep over you...” Isaiah 43:2 (He will not leave you in the midst of your struggle, and you will make it to the other side...)

I have been studying the book of John and the reoccurring theme of the chapter seems to be one that asks the question, do I know him intimately? Not just knowing about Jesus...which is NOT enough, but TRULY KNOWING him INTIMATELY, just as you know your best friend.

Many of the crowds around Jesus were well read in the scriptures and have an immense amount of book knowledge of who the Christ was, and what he would accomplish, however, they lacked one thing, the willingness of the heart to accept a gift given for ALL, not just the elite. They did not accept the fact that God sent someone to them who was not what the crowd expected, nor desired. Their expectations were of a regal king who would be respected by the crowd and others of their stature. Not a lowly man who was born in a mere manger stall, their expectations were for God to give them more...a regal king with the fanfare to boot.

There Jesus was, right in the midst of the crowd, the crowd talked and physically walked with him. The crowd came to see and hear Jesus, the crowd watched him perform miracles right before their eyes. The crowd wondered and talked about him...and sadly, the crowd missed it...they missed the opportunity to drink from the well of life. The crowd learned about Him in scripture, but when face to face with what the crowd claimed to be faithfully in wait for.....the crowd missed the obvious. He was there with the crowd, trying to tell them, to show them, but the crowd's hearts were not open to receiving the gift of life.

There were the few, however, that GOT IT! The few recognized him! The few were not the ones who were well read and maybe not even the brightest, however, they were THE FEW... Hallelujah for THE FEW!

So, back to that original question:

If you and I were alive back then, would I be one of the few....would you....or just another part of the crowd?

How about today...the few, or the crowd...you decide.

Mt 7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Winter Wonderland....On the Gulf Coast??!!

2008-12-13T10:41:00.011-06:00

We live in a large town on the Gulf Coast region of Texas, where our winters usually amount to rain and maybe a little sleet, but seldom. The cold here is unlike cold in the cooler climates of the country. It is one that is wet and miserable, when, and if, it gets cold.

Well, a MIRACLE happened here a few days ago, on December the 10th to be exact! There was a cold front that was heading our way and was bringing blistering cold temperatures to the northern states. Normally by the time those fronts make it here it is down to a minimum, so we might get to the 50s, which is pretty chilly for us. However, this blast made it's way and actually drove the temps way down.

It is true about what they say of the weather in Texas...you never know what the temperature will be, so you better pack for rain, sleet, sun.....and now even snow!

YES, IT SNOWED! Now, I know you sweet people up north are chuckling at my response to the snow, but it was absolutely a remarkable moment! Normally, IF it snows, it is just a little dust with very few flakes. When the few flakes occur, we Texans run outside and try to scrape up the snow on the car and make a six inch snowmen on the hood. Not THIS TIME! No, it was far greater than the snowman hood ornament of the past.

I was in the kitchen and my husband excitedly told me that it was snowing. He and my kids get excited about the dust snows we have, so I just kind of shrugged it off. I then received a phone call where a friend informed me of how huge the flakes were. I got off the phone and took a peek outside and was astonished! The snow was inches thick! Never had I seen so much snow in the Gulf Coast! It was breath takingly gorgeous.

As we stood outside watching the flakes you could hear the snow hitting the branches of the trees. My husband remarked at how peaceful the sound is. It truly was a moment I was taking in. You could hear the kids in the neighborhood out in the yards having snowball fights and building their first REAL snowmen. Now, I have been in snow in the past that was much greater than this, but it was an amazing moment for it to take place here. The last time it did this was on a Christmas Eve about five or six years ago, and there was not this amount.

Our moment of solitude was broken when my girls came running! I ran in and got our ski toboggans, scarves and gloves...then guess what WE did! Yep, we started building a snowman! We could actually roll the snowball without worry of leaves and pine needles being stuck all in the snow! It was a memory burned deep within my mind, and will not be forgotten anytime soon.

We played out in the snow for a couple of hours, it was 1 or 2 in the morning when we finally came in for some hot cocoa. Yes, I know, it was crazy to be outside playing at that time, but HEY, we knew it would all be gone by morning! In Texas it will freeze one minute then have a tropical storm bringing in the warm air the next!

The only bad thing about the memory is that Alan was not with us, however, he was in the snow too, just a little north. Believe it or not, we got more snow than THEY did! HA!

Well, I am dreaming of a white Christmas this year, but I think the white is gone. Today it is getting up to 67, so I guess the tropics are blowing in. Oh well. Life is great, and that snow was a reminder of miracles within life.

I will leave sharing a few more of the memories we made on the blessed night of December 10th, 2008!

Even the dogs got in on the snow fun!

Catching snowflakes on our tongues!

Jen trying to escape her dad's powerful snowball....yeah right!

Holly cuddling with dad!

Bently with his snowdog!

Rennovations After The Storm

2008-12-04T10:31:00.005-06:00

Well, they arrived with a loud knock in the early misty hours of morning. I was thrilled with their presence, all six of them with tools in hand pressed close against the front door excited about the destruction, I mean...construction, project.

Hurricane Ike succeeded in damaging several rooms within our home and left us without carpet, roof or ceiling in many places throughout the house. We did what we could to remedy the immediate issues within our home, but it still left us with bare floors and plastic on the roof and ceilings. Little did we know the mess would become LARGER when the rennovations began...

Yes, it was early one morning when they all showed up. Sweet, hard workers stormed the house and made paths of destruction throughout. Their main goal was to have all the ceilings ripped completely out and replaced by the end of the day, well, replaced with the sheetrock. So off they went!

All I can say is WOW! They worked with such fury and down right focus and determination. I could not believe the work I saw happening in such a short amount of time. The ceilings were ripped out, and the new sheetrock was hung. One man was upstairs on STILTS working on the ceiling. It was rather interesting. I kept wondering HOW he got up on those things. I would definately fall and break my leg...well...probably my neck with my luck! I would have asked him how he did that, but all he could do was smile and say, "Si, Si." I have no clue what he was saying yes to.

So, we are all kept hostage in our own home at the moment. We are containded within the kitchen/dining area and 2 bedrooms. There is stuff EVERYWHERE, not that there is not stuff everywhere anyway, but just MORE stuff! Also, I have never seen so much dust in my life!

Okay, so I am not griping at all. As a matter of fact, I was upset that our insurance company was dragging their feet so. We have twins coming in a matter of about six weeks and we need a room for them to live in, a livable one!

They DID get the sheetrock hung. There is still so much more to do. We are deciding to go ahead and rennovate some other areas of our home as well. There are things that need to be done, so why not just get them done now, right? Just pray that Jen will hold on for the next six weeks, although she is about to pop and is miserable.

Brent, of course, is having to work. He has called ME to be foreman and I have no cluse what the heck is going on. Someone come and help me! I put him on the phone with them. I just want to go shopping or something until they are done.

Okay, so here is the run down; the house is falling apart....and getting uglier by the minute, a sick dog, a pregnant daughter, a sick mother in law and all I want to do is go shopping. Yep, a nice escape would be great.....or just some coffee...

Grandmother Names

2008-11-14T11:03:00.007-06:00

So, now I am trying to come up with a grandmother name. Not one that is old fashioned, that is just not me. I need one that is hip and stylish, lots of flair, and unforgetable, because that is the kind of grandmother I wish to be, unforgetable!

I don't care if anyone else remembers anything about me, but I sure want to leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren that they would be proud of. After I'm gone I pray that they will sit around and talk about all the crazy and funny things I did while they were growing up (...and there are plenty of the CRAZY things to talk about!). Hopefully I have embarrased them, at some point, AND made them proud. (Embarrasing my children is something I do really well. I plan to continue that tradition as I enter into this new era of my life.) I just want them to have unforgetable moments with me that are full of love and laughter.

Some people take life so seriously and forget that they have the right to experience joy! I want to experience a moment of joy and laughter every day. I feel there is too much drama in the world, I want to add some spice!

As I ponder the thought of being a grandmother I have a warm feeling that rises from within. I can not wait to see those sweet little faces, and to kiss their little cheeks. I still can not fathom the pure joy of adding little ones to our brew.

One thing I know for sure is that I am going to lavish each moment as it comes. I think as a young mother I looked to the future too often. I couldn't wait until they were out of diapers, could bathe themselves, could go to school, could drive, and so on. I realize NOW that I rushed through some really special moments that I will never have back. As a grandmother I refuse to do that.

I can not fathom the thought that I get to somehow make a mark on another generation. I pray I do this right! What is the right way to do this? You know, I believe it is to walk as Jesus walked in front of this new generation who will be here soon. To love as he did, to touch as he did, to provide as he did and to teach at every moment just as he did. That is what I want to be to the new generation...Jesus' hands and feet.

Well, I am still looking for the perfect name, any suggestions? (Please make it hip and fabulous!) I gotta run, I am looking up granny names on the internet!

Oh, by the way, I am going to teach the babies to call my husband Grumpy!! It fits, doesn't it?! Later! ;o)

Introducing Kade and Konner Alsbrooks/Thibodaux

2008-11-12T10:41:00.002-06:00

Here are the boys. They are due to arrive on February 5th, but the dr. said it is highly unlikely she will carry them that long. Since she is already on bedrest, we are expecting them to come early, just not too early. We are anxiously awaiting their arrival. What a miracle it is to see new life.
Praising Him,
D'Ann

The Storm...

2008-11-11T07:48:00.003-06:00

I awoke this morning to thunder and even a few strikes of lightening, but most of all to rain. The rain is not that of a shower that leaves after a few minutes, but the drenching rain that stays for hours on end. Although the rain was drenching the ground, it was not drenching my soul! I awoke with a song in my heart.

On the way home from taking my youngest daughter to school I was singing the song and didn't even realize I was, then I realized I was singing a song and had a chuckle at myself. The song is one of God's love and how unfailing it is. A song that reminds me that even though I seem so unsignificant, compared to other things in this world, that my Lord and Savior still takes time for me, and loves me. Just the thought of that makes my eyes begin to well with tears.

It has been a while since my last blogging moment. There has been a few storms that have swept into my life that silenced my fingers, but not my heart. I feel the desire to now share my story with the world.

Just as that song was flowing from my lips this morning without me even realizing I was singing it, yes I am wierd that way, so my God was with me through these storms, delivering a montage of mercy, love and grace in a beautiful song in my life. There are thrilling moments, as with any concerto, and there are moments of pure beauty. God has placed a wonderful song in my life, to see the ending I still had to go through the storms.

The next couple of blogs I post this morning will be two testimonies. One was written by me in the form of an email. A question was sent to me and I answered. After answering the email, I realized the email was the testimony I need to share with the world. I kept it in the email form because it is much more personal, I believe, that way.

The second blog was written by my son Alan. He has had some deep dark struggles over the past year. I am sharing this to allow you to see how God worked a huge miracle in his life, and I must say, he has never been the same since.

The amazing thing is that none of us are the same once you experience the True, Living God, and He does not want us to be either. I pray that as you read these real experiences, it will somehow change you too.

God Bless,

D'Ann

Making Lemonade...

2008-06-23T11:06:00.001-05:00

I need to write a book, a book about life, a book about the twists, one which details the turns, and one showing the heartaches.

Barbara Johnson wrote a book titled, “When Life Gives You Lemons Make Lemonade”. I am trying to make Lemonade right now, but I can’t seem to find the sugar. I took a taste of the drink and it is sour and brings tears, cold chills down the spine and needs more water…or something. I think there is a lemon grower somewhere in our neighborhood and he just keeps dumping them in OUR YARD…BY THE TRUCKLOAD! Okay, the lemons could be larger ones, you know…the ones that are as big as oranges, but shoot, I just keep tripping on the little sour things.

In Romans 8:18 Paul tells us, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

I believe Paul is saying that these “lemons” are small in comparison with our Great and Mighty Lord God, and the things He has in place far exceeds our expectations…and if we only knew we would not get so bogged down in the happenings of life.

I am trying to focus on the glory that far exceeds my own expectations. It is hard. I feel like Peter walking on the water. I take my eyes away from my Savior to look around….and I sink, quick. I AM, however, holding on to the promise of the glory. I know there is something more, and far greater things ahead that are going to be good, the waiting and the uncertainty is what is kicking me. I have to trust my God to show me the way.

Well, I need to head out, I have to go try to make more lemonade…the lemon man just showed up at my door…again…

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, what is important is how many times you stand back up! I am now standing and holding the lemons over the pitcher…

Blessings

Now Walk it Out...

2008-06-18T11:46:00.002-05:00

As you know, I have been really studying Romans. The book is all about faith and salvation through Christ.

Faith....

Easy to read about...

Easy to understand...

Easy to share...

Until...

You are faced with a situation, or in my case situations, that makes you chose to walk it out, or lose it all.

God has been really speaking to me about faith, and what faith is really all about. Faith is knowing there is a plan and resting in God to work it out. He does not always give us the details of the plan, faith is what makes that part of the struggle ok.

Lord, I don't know your plans, but I know you are the maker of those plans. I am choosing today to walk with the faith you have taught me to get to the other side of the storm.

Faith...

The easy part is hearing....the hardest part is using what you hear.

James 1:22 says:

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so decieve yourselves. Do what it says."

Today I am walking and doing...

Where did the time go?

2008-04-28T10:01:00.004-05:00

Wow! Life has gotten a bit CRAZY around our house. Our middle child is getting ready to graduate from high school and there is not enough time to get everything in! This week we are getting ready for one prom and a week end at the beach, then next week is another prom and weekend! We still have flowers to buy, pictures to insert into invitations that need to be mailed, and dresses to be altered. Then next month we are giving the child a crawfish boil to celebrate her accomplishments!

We have this abundant amount of "work" ahead and all I want to do is sit... and breathe... and watch....... and maybe .....shed a few tears as I reminisce about time gone by. I just can not take in the fact that my "baby" is grown up.

I sit sometimes and ponder whether or not I have taught her everything she needs to know about life. I hope I made the most out of each teachable moment. I can say that I did make a conscious effort to expel any amount of wisdom I may have had on the surmountable situations that arose during her training years. But, was it enough?

Does she have the tools she will need as she spreads her wings and enters into "real world" situations? Is she going to make the right choices and take the right turns as the road in life becomes bumpy?

All I know is that we gave her the opportunity to know the One who holds all the answers to any question she may have....Jesus. No matter how many mistakes I, as her mother, may have made in my teachings, Jesus can right the wrong. He is the one that takes the lump of clay I tried so hard to mold and turn it into something more beautiful than I could imagine.

Jen, you are beautiful. What a blessing you have been to me through the years. I wish you the very best in life. Always remember, I will be here for you and will FOREVER love you, no matter where life takes you. YOU will always be my baby girl. Remember, Jesus loves you and will be there for you, even when I can't be. Turn to Him and give Him your life and He will lead and carry you over the bumps life can give. He gives you life more abundantly! Smile, your beautiful!

Love you sweetie,
Momma

Nasa...WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

2008-04-11T12:02:00.002-05:00

Oh yes we have a problem! A HUGE and I mean HUGE problem!

The other night the kids and I were in the den watching television when all of a sudden we heard something running above our heads….in the ceiling. (Oh yeah!)

Being one that is optimistic about most things, I accounted it as squirrels, the cute fuzzy ones that are so delightful running around out in the yard! I even told the kids that they often climb in and out of attics and that it would be okay. The clamor they were making sounded as if they were rolling boulders around up there. Jennifer’s boyfriend was skeptical about my interpretation of the event, and stated that it sure sounded like more than a squirrel to him. I just shrugged him off as being a kid and not knowing what he is talking about.

Throughout the entire television program the “squirrel” labored…..hmmm…..afterwards he MUST have left the attic because it became quiet. FINALLY!

Well, the next night my husband was home. Now, bless his heart, he is not as optimistic as I tend to be. With him, destruction is seen lurking around every corner….just waiting on it’s next victim. I try not to get my feathers ruffled at his lack of optimism, I usually close my eyes and roll them UNDER my lids….don’t tell him! J The opportunity for his extreme pessimistic attitude began as soon as he entered the den last weekend.

We began hearing our youngest daughter banging around upstairs….the only problem was….SHE was in DALLAS! When I say banging, I mean BANGING! He and I were the only ones home. He began to investigate, (now would be a good time for the theme from The Pink Panther to play in the background of your mind!)

He decided it was not squirrels, as I suggested, but RATS! Not cutesy little mice…..but BIG, SEWER, RATS with FOOTBALL SIZED BODIES AND LONG SKINNEY NAKED TAILS! The kind of RATS with HUGE yellow stained teeth that stick out under their top lip, the kind that go BUMP in the night…..and chew up EVERYTHING in your attic, which they did.

The reasoning behind his assumption was clear found evidence…in the BBQ pit….UGH! The evidence was not something that had been left behind….THEY WERE THERE!!! He lifted the lid and THEY LOOKED UP AT HIM WITH BEADY EYES and LONG NOSES! OH MY GOODNESS! Good thing I am not the finder of such a critter, or dare I say MONSTER! I would have screamed BLOODY MURDER and woken every sleeping being in the Western Hemisphere and beyond!

He decided he would take care of the infestation by COOKING THEM. He turned the fire on HIGH and let them ROAST a bit! SURELY none could live through such an inferno of flames! However, as luck would have it, when the lid was lifted the only thing that was cooked was whatever had been left from the previous cookout. DARN! He had no idea HOW they escaped.

I, being so understanding, had to question his attention span since they were so large…???? How could you NOT see them RUNNING???? I doubt one said to the other, “Let’s tiptoe out SLOWLY and Quietly!” HELLLO?? YOU DIDN”T SEE THEM? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? (I AM laughing now….he was pretty disappointed himself, so I won’t beat him up anymore.)

Well, now we had to make a plan on what to do. Jennifer’s boyfriend had a really “brilliant” idea. He suggested we catch them alive and SELL them. Really now? I told him to feel free to do that. If I am going to catch one, it will have a trap sprung around it’s neck and will definitely NOT be in any condition to be sold! UGH! (Creating a RAT breeding farm in my attic is not on my top “what I want to do with my life list!)

No, we decided, without ANY hesitation, that his idea was not the best option for our situation. My husband came up with a MUCH better plan. He informed me to stop down at the exterminating store and get these big blocks of rat poison. I agreed that if we are going to get them….we will get them good!

So, the next day while I was out running errands……I completely forgot all about the rats….and they continued to build their castle in my attic until the next day…DUH!

My husband, knowing how dingy I am, decided that he needed to go and get it himself….anyway, he needed to make sure it was the right stuff…and I probably would not handle it appropriately….so he did it himself! YEAH!

He brought the blocks home and carefully placed them in the targeted areas in the attic, remember he is a man of perfection…so yes he had targeted areas.

The target areas must have been good ones because that night we only heard silence. I wish I could have seen the party going on up in our attic! I am sure there was feasting on the delicious blocks all night! What joy for the rats….and what joy for me! Silence! I bet their bellies were full and they were fat and happy…UNTIL…. Ha!

There has now been silence in the house for several days. Silence….but there is now another issue that has began to raise it’s ugly head…….

A foul odor has arisen in the kitchen cabinets…

What joy. I hear that could happen. I hear they could fall into the walls and die.

Where did the joy go? Where did the exuberance of the victory go?

I have looked through all the cabinets and can’t find ANYTHING….only a strange odor that lurks…unseen…but definitely NOT un-smelled! What are we going to do now?

My pessimistic husband became suddenly optimistic. As I was complaining about how horrible this might be, he replied…

“Well, at least they are dead!”

I guess I will have to look on the bright side….it only took a dead rat to help him see the glass half full.

I speculate we might be eating out for a while. Watch out Luby’s, here we come!

Scripture says for me to consider any trial as pure joy. (James 1:2-3) Although I don’t really consider this a trial, but I am sure there is a lesson in this for me.

I may have to bear with the stench that could arise and I will try to look upon that are a reflection of my sin in the site of God. (Surely this will help me persevere!) There may be a lesson it that, and maybe, just maybe, I will blog about that one day….if the stench rises to a higher level….I pray not!

However, I am sure there is more to come on the subject….

Dr. Carey Froelich on Capital Hill

2008-04-09T10:05:00.003-05:00

Carey Froelich is our Associate Pastor of Education at FBC! He had the privilege to pray before Congress this morning. We are all so PROUD of the wonderful job he did as he represented Christ and our church body to the Congressional Representatives.

Precious Day

2008-04-07T12:12:00.008-05:00

I don't know if you know it or not, and if you don't then you live in a cave in the middle of nowhere, but I am officially an Aunt D'Ann, or Aunt Dee..she hasn't decided what she will call me, mainly due to the fact that she can't talk yet!

My brother FINALLY got married and they have a beautiful baby girl named Brooklynn Paige, and she looks JUST like ME! (Ha! Totally a joke, the child is gorgeous....she has nowhere near the flaws you would find on my mug!)

I really never thought the day would come where I would have a niece or nephew, but God blessed us with Brook. We are all so proud of her and we think she is perfect, of course. She pretty much is. :)

Brook turned one year old on April 4th, where did that year go? Seems like yesterday we drove like mad to the hospital to be one of the first ones to hold and kiss her sweet face. She was all we dreamed of. I am acting like she is mine, but I just can't help but love her that much!

We celebrated her first birthday on Saturday and it was FABULOUS, of course! The house was full of people who love her and rejoiced in her birth and her birthday. My sister in law baked Brook a cake of her own and she played in it and got it all over herself. Although, Brook cried through most of the cake because she was so tired she was about to fall asleep. She was cute though. She started to throw a fit and threw her face down right into her cake, she was shocked and we all laughed when she raised up her head!

She is just so precious and I am wanting to be the best Aunt in the world!! I love you Brookie!

The Heist!

2008-03-03T12:50:00.005-06:00

Well on Saturday we decided to spend the day with my brother, his wife and my niece, really I just wanted to play with my niece...but don't tell them! Anyway, we went, ate BBQ and had a great visit.

My girls needed new shoes, my sister in law decided she wanted to go to the mall as well, so we jumped into the car and headed to the mall. The whole while we were talking it up and having a ball. We arrived and got out of the car. I yelled at the kids to lock their doors, cause we have ghetto cars that have broken power locks, yes we are thinking of buying a new one, however, for now, we must manually lock the doors...oh my...what is the world coming to?!

We went on into the mall, never looking back.....maybe we should have...(keep reading...)

The girls went on their merry way in search of the perfect pair of sneakers, while my sister-in-law and I went to the baby shops and oohed and ahhed at all the cute little clothes and accessories they now offer for babies! I had forgotten how much fun having a baby is!

After only being in the mall for about an hour my cell phone rang and my oldest informed me that they had purchased their shoes and were ready to go. She decided she had a crawfish boil she needed to attend and informed us that we needed to cut our fun filled day short!

With my daughter's social welfare in mind, we continued shopping! (Well, for about 5 minutes anyway!) We began to meander toward the Dillard's department store where we found the girls waiting, rather impatiently I might add. I just don't understand teenagers and their social agendas! I want to spend a day with family, and they want to get as far away as possible. I assume I was the same way when I was 18.

We then headed to the car with our loot from the mall in tow. As we arrived at the car I pulled out my keys and I noticed the keyhole on the door was turned a little sideways. I had never put the key into the keyhole at such an angle, at least I didn't remember that I had, but being blond, the thought flew out of my head as quickly as it had entered. I then entered the car. As I was leaning over to manually (yes, remember the auto locks don't work) unlock the door, I noticed papers and stuff thrown all around the passenger side of the car. Another blond moment ensued.....I could not imagine how that glove compartment would open and spill out like that while we were out of the car....DUH! When I opened my sister-in-law's door I said, "Something happened!"

My sister-in-law, being the most observable one began screaming, "OH MY GOSH! SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE CAR!!"

Well, I guess if there had been someone lying in wait for us I would have just said, "Hi!", and let everyone in. DUH AGAIN!

While my sister-in-law was screaming at a kid, who was walking past, and asking (actually screaming) if he had anything to do with this....which, I might add, caused him to run like mad from the wild red-headed screaming beast my protective sister-in-law had turned into in a matter of seconds...., I was trying to figure out what on earth they would have been trying to steal. I then had a shrinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remembered my husband had JUST picked up a deer head he had mounted for my son.

Now I don't know about you all, but hunting and the evidence of the kill is an important thing to the men in my house. I was afraid that they had taken the HEAD!! I was mortified! However, as luck would have it....the stupid thing was still in the back of the Tahoe, untouched and ready to hang on my wall, OH THE JOY.....ya right. They did take the Dollar Store toolbox that was sitting right beside it though. I wanted to talk to the idiot and ask him what he was thinking leaving the one thing that cost an arm and leg and instead taking a 10 dollar tool kit with tools that were more toy"ish" than usable! I mean really! I wanted him to come back and explain THAT one to me.

Of course I had to call my husband and tell him what happened. It took me a while because I knew what the conversation was going to entail. He never said, "Oh honey, I am so thankful you all didn't walk up on that and get hurt." He never said, "It's okay, it's only a material thing." He just said, "OH MY GOSH! DID THEY TAKE THE HEAD??!!!" Well, I guess he has his priorities all lined out, right? After 20 years I guess I need to face the fact that the head is tops on the list these days! :)

Anyway, come to find out there were about 8 cars that were broken into, or attempted to be broken into. We were truly blessed in the fact that some of the locks, in other cars, were pushed all the way into the doors. Mine was only turned. I must admit that they were good at getting in and getting out since we were only in there for an hour. I recognize it could have been much, much worse.

My sister in law didn't help my pride much. I asked, when we got back home, WHY someone would want to break into that ratty old thing. Her reply was, "Well, because it looks like it would have like a big stereo system in it." I finally figured out that she was politely saying, "IT LOOKS GHETTO." ........I guess time to break down and buy that new car....sniff, sniff. However, I like ghetto I guess, cause ghetto is paid for! :)

Well, that was just ONE of the many episodes of our household this past week, trust me there are plenty. We are prone to chaos, however, I have learned to laugh in the face of these mini disasters because in reality....they don't matter.

I found a little quote that I have been trying to keep in the back of my mind that has allowed me to recognize what these little bumps, and the big potholes, are really all about...

"Every trial God allows has the potential to refine and strengthen us."

I hope as you read and laugh about my blond episodes, you will recognize that God is using those things to grow me into what He wants me to be. Sometimes the bumps hurt, sometimes they just cause me to lose my balance, but ultimately my Father is there to pick me up and to mold me the way he sees fit.

I may be blond, but I have a Heavenly Father that sees me as someone worthy to love and uses these situations to draw me nearer to Him! Praise be to Him, my Creator, my Rock, my Strength and my Comfort.

Come, go on a journey with me. You never know what might happen, but the ending is SO, SO wonderful, I promise!

By the way, I met a really nice security guard and a great Houston Police officer. Thanks to our public servants for helping in times like these. Blessings!

Serving

2008-01-18T17:03:00.000-06:00

I am sitting in a recliner, at the hospital, listening to a life flight helicopter taking off. As I hear the sound I begin to wonder where the copter is going and who is to be the recipient of the care those on the “bird” will be administering. I am constantly praying as it takes off. I know that one day someone I love could be the cargo within its belly.

This total experience has sent me from one end of emotion to the other. Jubilation for successes, sadness for the pains. The experience has brought on many lessons which have taught me more about life than I knew before, and will be forever grateful for lessons learned.
I have always loved the Biblical story of Ruth, but now I have experienced it, in part. To me the story is all about servanthood and how Ruth took it on in such a loving and generous way, only to be served herself in return!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not even near worthy to try to impress that I have served as Ruth did, but I sure have tried this week! Ruth served just to serve, not to receive anything in return. That same spirit of serving was what I was attempting to put forth as I cared for the needs and desires of my sweet mother-in-law during her time of suffering through a major heart surgery.

There were times when I could see in her eyes that she felt ashamed to have to have someone care for her basic life needs. I wept in my heart knowing she hated the current circumstances of her life. She did not choose her circumstances, but her Lord did allow her to go through them, and she did so bravely, boldly and with a heart of determination, even when her body was too weak to even lift her head.

The lesson I have learned, and will never forget, are the lessons Ruth learned as she tended to her own sweet mother-in-law. She found, as I did, there is absolute JOY in serving. (Although there have been those moments that were not too joyous, but you just have to grit those teeth and do the deed!) However, there is an immense amount of joy throughout the process.
I also learned the biggest lesson of my life. When you serve, it is always returned to you two-fold. Now, granted, Ruth received a husband. Since I already have a well-trained husband, HA, I think I will keep the one I have. Especially since he is a man of integrity, love and has been such a blessing to me since the day we met! I received a blessing in another form; friends and family.
Yes, I know, I already had those things and they have been blessings in my life, however, they served ME! WHAT in the world?! I was shocked at all of the servants that were so willing to serve without anything in return! I was blown away by the love, concern and generosity that was shown to us during this time. My kids are home with full bellies and anything they needed was only a phone call away. How blessed can one be?

I would leave the story there, but there is more! My own kids became servants to my husband and me as well. Trust me, we were shocked too!

When our oldest was home, he was cooking dinner and looking after things around the house, this would be a normal behavior of his. I was a bit nervous about what was going to happen at home after he left. I knew it would be okay, but I wanted things to be more than just okay!
My husband called my cell one evening and was astonished at what he had come home to that night. (No it wasn’t a wild party with cars lined up and down the street, thank goodness!)
He walked in the house and actually thought our housekeeper had been there. He then recalled that I had called and canceled with her until I could get back home. He walked into the kitchen, dinner was ready, the kitchen was cleaned, baked cookies on the counter AND they even had a CLEAN uniform laid out for him for the next day! (They are REALLY starting to make ME look BAD!!)

He then immediately walked out the front door, got in his car, drove around the block and came back in, he thought he was in the wrong house! Just kidding! They had also sent him a message letting him know that they were at church! (I know, I have to stop and chuckle because this is sounding more and more like something off of the Brady Bunch, or in our case, a sci-fi flick! “You have just entered the Twighlight Zone!” HA!)
He had to call and tell me all about it, I could tell how totally shocked he was, I was pretty shocked myself. I thought I might have to check him into the room next door to his mother on the cardiac care floor.

After hanging up the phone I realized that God had given me servant children. They found joy through serving us, while we were serving others.

I am sorry, I know pride is a terrible thing, but I am SO PROUD of my girls at this moment. I knew they have been shown how to serve, I just haven’t seen it acted out before in such a huge way. The great thing is that they have been serving us EVERY day in this manner.
The lesson I learned this week? Serving is such a wonderful thing. Serving is worshiping God through extending to someone else. Serving enhances the life of not only someone else, but ourselves as well, I have had the blessing of serving AND being served at the same time.
Thank you to all that have extended yourselves to us this week; be it in the form of thoughts, prayers, food, calls and just caring for us in general. You are loved not only by us, but by our Lord as well.

The question now is; where do I serve next? I guess it is going to be in the bathroom…..she has that look in her eyes….

Be Blessed, and Be a Blessing!

Update

2008-01-05T00:18:00.000-06:00

Just to let you all know, my mother-in-law is going to require heart valve replacement. This is not her first rodeo doing this, she has had this done about twelve years ago, but the surgery is very invasive and taxing. Hopefully all will go well. We are coveting any prayers you would lift up for her and our family. God is sufficient, we will be leaning on this faith during this time. Thank you so much, be blessed!

Coveting...

2008-01-04T15:20:00.000-06:00

I am coveting prayers today for my mother-in-law Brenda. She is having a heart cath and we are awaiting to hear that she did well with the procedure and to see what the results are. We are expecting her to need to have a valve replacement, but we have to wait for a final answer from the doctor.

We are also needing prayer because of those in the family who have issues, ones I have blogged about before, are causing more stress in the midst of the rain. Please pray that these individuals are bound. We love these individuals, but we surely hate the sin they are content living in. God is full of mercy and love and he will be there for us and we recognize that He is all we need to see us through. We would just love to know you are praying for us.

Thank you for all of your love, prayers and concern.

Lessons at WalMart

2007-11-22T09:16:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share with you an experience we had yesterday in WalMart that helped me realize the blessings we hold.

Alan, Holly and I went to WalMart to do that last minute, I have procrastinated AGAIN Thanksgiving shopping trip.

While we were in the produce section, there was a young mother who seemed to be shopping with her mother. I noticed she turned around and fell apart crying. Her mother reached out to her and hugged her and rubbed and patted her back and tried to console her. I knew something was wrong, really wrong, but I just wasn't sure what. I said a quick prayer and was hoping I could some how reach out to her and offer comfort, if the Lord meant me to.

We moved on and Alan began saying how bad he felt. I asked him what he was talking about and he asked me if I had seen the girl crying. I had. He said that she turned around, saw him and broke down crying. (He was dressed in his Army ACUs, due to him not having any clean civilian clothes!) He, Alan, explained how bad he felt for making her cry and how he should have washed so he didn't have to wear the ACUs.

Anyway, we moved on and passed the girl and her mother several times down various isles, each time she was shedding tears. I was in the lead going down the aisle, as I turned to go down the next isle I realized Alan and Holly were not behind me. After a few minutes, my arms full of stuff, here they came. Alan's face was beet red and Holly was smiling, Al was too. He informed me that the girl walked over to him and said, "Thank you for your service. I am sorry I was crying, but my husband is in Iraq and when I saw you I fell apart."

We saw her again, and this time (knowing now the source of her tears) I stopped and gave her a hug. Yes, you know me, I was boo-hooing right along with her. She informed me that he began his Iraqi tour three months ago and she missed him so much. She has three children, and from what I could tell, a great family.

This was a moment of pure blessing on so many levels. I was blessed to share a moment with another military family who were hurting, blessed that Alan has not been called out to serve in such a way yet, although his unit is being deployed in July.....thank goodness for school, blessed with health, a job, life, love, and pure joy. What a moment! It made me realize how blessed we are to have this day together; healthy, happy and hungry with a table FULL of delicious food and desserts.

Of all the people at WalMart, she was the only one that came up and thanked him for serving. Not that you expect anyone to say anything to him, I really didn't expect it at all and am always caught off guard when it does happen, I just couldn't believe she was thanking him even while in the midst of sadness and longing to see her husband. I found it ironic that one military family was thanking another. Here she was in a deep moment of grief and she was thanking him. I still can't get past that act of thanks. I guess I have a lot to learn about being a military mom.

I will be remembering those today that are not as fortunate as I am in so many ways. Today is not only a day of thanks for me, it will also be a day of remembrance of those who do not have the comforts we do, including those whose family members are too far away serving this country and giving the gift of sacrife. Sacrifice, it touches each one of us by keeping the freedoms we enjoy, without realizing what has been given.

This sweet young mother brought those sacrifices close to me and reality hit. Although we are not sacrificing in the way this family is; we have not forgotten that one day there is a large chance we probably will. That thought is what hits hard in moments such as this.

I am asking you to remember those that are serving us on this Thanksgiving day, and their families.

By the way, if you see a soldier, please thank him/her. You never know what kind of sacrifices he/she is making.....seeing them smile is worth it...they are too. They hear too much negative, they need a boost. Their thought on the subject is that people just don't care about them anymore, this is so untrue. I, personally, want them to know that I do care, and appreciate them! I know you do too!

Well, again I have procrastinated! I have a full array of things I need to cook, or the Thanks will be given to the person working the Jack in the Box drive through! (Another blessing, we are all off today!)

May God richly bless each of you today!

The Library

2007-11-07T09:49:00.000-06:00

You will never guess what I am doing right now.....sitting in the parking lot of the library waiting on it to open. I pulled up and got my stuff out of the car, a lot of stuff, and started to walk up to the door, then I saw it....the HOURS OF OPERATION!! Monday - Friday, 10a.m. to 9 p.m.! ARGH! I thought, maybe, if I would just go to the library today to work on my papers I would get so much more done. Well, here I sit....wasting time. There are others sitting around waiting too, each of us gauking at the other and getting our things together so we can make a mad dash to the door just to see who can get in first!

However, I AM able to get a SLIGHT signal for the internet, if I tilt my head to the right and place my tongue slightly to the left of my mouth....what a sight! All the other people are just sitting there staring at the door while the custodian cleans it.

I have 7 days left before I start the long-term teaching job SO I really have to get these last 7 papers done. Late nights will be on my agenda for the next couple of weeks. Needless to say, my life is most crowded with those things staring me in the eyes. WHAT was I ever thinking, going back to school at my age?? Everyone keeps telling me that it is going to pay off in the "long run"....yeah, LONG...that is the word that is making me CRAZY!!!

Well, say a little prayer for me today as I try to muddle through more history papers. Hopefully this will be a productive day.

I just looked at the door and people are huddling close waiting on the librarians to open the door. Wait.....oh my, one is causing the window to frost....and they JUST CLEANED IT!! :) Oh well, she must have papers to write too! I can't wait until I can come to the library just to read a book! (One I would LIKE to read!!)

Well, I am heading out now....I have to push the lady at the window out of the way so I can get a good seat!

Later!

Writing, Writing.....WRITING....

2007-11-01T22:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I am still at it....yes, writing papers.....papers...and MORE PAPERS!!!! I have to have 16 written by November 14th!! I have gotten four done. All I can say is that I am busy so if you have anything fun going on, please don't call! Offering something fun to me would only make me daydream! Heck, right now even scrubbing a toilet sounds like something fun....YIKES!!

I have to keep telling myself that one of these days I am not going to have to read only school books. I will actually, one of these days, be able to read something that I can ENJOY! I am so tired of reading history. I LOVE history, really I do, I am just tired of reading it....if that makes sense!

Well, I just wanted to give a line as to where I am in life. Hope to come out of my cell soon! HA!

Grown Up

2007-10-15T08:08:00.000-05:00

Well, the time has come now to allow our oldest to spread his wings. I thought I had done that, but I was informed that I have not. How does a mother go about doing that? I have no idea. Does it mean not to care if they eat breakfast? How about keeping them in check on the things of life? I am not sure of the process of letting go, this is my first time. I surely don't want to be the type of mother that drives her kids nuts with all of her antics. I am going to try extra hard not to do that.

Today I am working hard to not be the mom of a teen, but a mom of a young man. I may need some help in that area. Any hints you may have will be greatly appreciated. Some of the hints I have received are things such as; don't hoover over him, don't call every day, don't sing him to sleep, don't go and rescue him.....unless he needs money!

I don't know, I hear the empty nest is a good thing, so far it is not my favorite part of life but I know it will get better with time. I feel so old. Well, I need to go get the walker ready, I have to take a kid to school! :)

Life

2007-10-12T10:04:00.000-05:00

Life.....
Can get you down sometimes,
Can be tough, hard and somewhere in between.

Life.....
Can be joyous and fulfilling, even in the times of trial.
Is worth it all; the good and the bad, the happy and the sad.

Yesterday was a tough day for us as a family. Again, we were faced with having to bind together and get through. We did it. Today we awoke to a gorgeous cool and sunny day, a day God planned for us to experience. What joy! Tomorrow will come, but today is here.

I have praised the Lord for the day, and also for the struggles; I know they are here to make us stronger in many ways, but mostly my faith. The struggles are nothing compared to struggles of many, but they are struggles none the less. No one is dead, or sick......only tired.

I have a choice to make today. I am choosing to not let the circumstances determine my mood, nor will it determine the character I will exhibit. I am reminded that a person's true character is revealed when life becomes tough. I am going to try today to allow my character shine past the difficulties.

Today I am choosing to smile......
are you?

Facing My Own Reality!

2007-09-17T07:53:00.000-05:00

Today started as any other, well...that would be stretching it a bit, however, it started with me flying out of bed and running for shoes, yes, I guess that would be pretty normal. Hang on, there is more to the story...

Yesterday, Sunday, my youngest daughter woke up ill with a stomach virus and was sick all day and into the night. YUCK!

I was so tired when I went to bed and had a hard time winding down, as I normally do...too much on my mind, so needless to say the replay button in my thoughts keeps being punched, and punched again and again....you get the picture. Finally, sweet sleep found me...

UNTIL...... the phone rang at 5 minutes after 7! OH MY GOODNESS, the little girl that Holly and I normally pick up was waiting for us to take her to school! Holly is diplomatically trying to explain to her that she was sick and not going to school. HELLO......we STILL have to go get the sweet child...we are responsible for making sure she is there on time! I was blindly trying to find my shoes, my hair was going a million different ways and I have no idea if the shoes I eventually found were actually ones that matched...all I knew was that they felt like they were on the right feet! I felt SO BAD when I pulled up in the driveway and she was standing out there waiting on me! DUH! I guess I won't be winning the "Carpool Mom of the Year Award"! Well, just so you will know, we did make it to school on time. I was trying to lean my head against the window to keep everyone from seeing my new Meddoussa hair-do. I am sure my hairdresser would have died to have seen it like that. To top it off I think I saw a couple of students pointing and laughing, shameful!!

Well, on the way home I began to ponder my idiocracy and why things like that happen when I am in control, or lack of is more the correct phrase to use. I have always blamed it on my blonde hair, however....just between you and me....most of my blonde now comes from a bottle, and what use to really be blonde is more like a dark brown something or other, the rest of it is that horrid gray color...sorry mom! I guess I can now officially throw the blonde excuse out of the window. Well, I AM getting older, they say forgetfulness is something that happens. Maybe that will be the next excuse I begin to utilize in my quest for trying to have a valid excuse for my disorganization....oops did I just let the cat out of the bag??

Okay, yes, confession.....I AM DISORGANIZED AND IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS!! I am working on it though. They say recognizing the problem is the first step toward defeating it, maybe I am on my way!

My husband is the complete opposite. I guess God allowed us to meet so he can help me out and I can drive him insane. Driving him nuts really is not my ultimate goal, but somehow I accomplish it so well. Most of my friends are well organized, you would think some of that would rub off on me, no luck as of yet. I guess I need to put forth more effort, but if I did and I became more organized....what would I do with all the time I would save when normally I am running around late because I couldn't find my keys??!

I guess I need to think about that.....probably tonight while I am trying to go to sleep....

Addiction...

2007-09-14T08:07:00.000-05:00

Addiction, a demon that sucks the life out of its victim, many times without the victim recognizing what is happening. The aggressor, i.e. addiction, comes a little at a time and is somewhat hard to recognize, at first. By the time recognition takes place, it is in full force and hard to contain, much less overcome.

I believe everyone has some form of addictive traits within. The personal response to the demon is key to whether it is going to destroy character, or build character.

How can an addiction "build character" you ask? Well, to stand against such a monster takes a great deal of fortitude, stamina, courage and downright determination! Those are character traits that should be coveted by all. They are attainable, but only through trials, which many are not ready, nor willing, to stand against.

I am writing this blog because addiction has made a tremendous mark in the lives of myself and my family. There are many woes to report, not one victory as of yet, but I am still praying for deliverance. Deliverance from a disease that has had tremendous ramifications placed upon our family as a whole. A disease that has shaken us to our core. A disease in which all we can do is sit and watch, and pray. A disease that breaks my heart.

This demon has been raising its ugly head for about fifteen years, and now is a complete whirlwind around us, we believe catastropic destruction is approaching rapidly. As the storm becomes deeper, darker, and wider, we wait. What we are waiting on is unbeknown to each of us, but still we wait and watch. So many times we have thrown out the life raft, only to have it rejected and thrown back to us in total refusal. The storm has become even darker now, the winds stronger, and our hopes dashed upon the jagged rocks next to the shore, a shore where we wait with the waves lapping at our feet, unable to help.

Lies and deception are all a part of the victims as they desperately search for that next fix that allows them to keep their heads above the angry waves that are deperately trying to pull them under the current. The sad thing is the victims see themselves as swimming along and fail to see the storm that has engulfed them. Blindly they go, day by day, in a complete haze of disillusionment and paranoia that digs its claws even into the bystanders on the beach.

In the midst of the torrential rains that begin to pour down on the bystanders, a crowd approaches. Within the crowd are those that truly care about the bystanders and they offer their words of what they feel is help and encouragement. You hear shouts of, "Well, if it were me I would....", and "Let them drown...", also "Do away with them...". Each phrase spoken in true love of the bystanders, but not one of them have experienced their loved ones in the waves of the storm. At this, the bystanders shrink away and beg the crowd to disperse. The bystanders, at their own choosing, are then left to watch the storm, alone, because they feel no one cares or understands, and carries the shame without help.

Sleepless nights begin. There is a recognition of the the need for sleep, but the sleep that is attained is restless because the sound of the storm is still being heard, there is no escape. Tears fall and the heavy heart finds no relief.

Answers? I wish I had them. We search, no luck. The only answer is prayer.

The storm may not dissipate, the addiction may hang on, but there is a promise in which an Awesome God states, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." One of the bystanders reminded me that we have to realize that "His grace is suficient for us all." I thought I understood what that meant, I am grasping a new understand within the storm. No matter what the storm brings, He is there and able to sustain me....if I only reach out and grab His hand.

Beauty

2007-09-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

I watched as she was running into class this morning. Her hair was hanging in ringlets and bouncing around her shoulders. I could not stop smiling. Oh sure she was late to class and as her mother I should have, and normally would have, lectured her on the virtue of being prompt, but today, for some reason, was different. I was thinking of something more important.... time.
I was caught up in a moment of awe. She is a beautiful creature. I kept thinking how blessed I am to be her mother. She is now a senior in highschool, I can't believe it. Where in the world did the time go?

I wish there were time machines, I would take a trip. The trip I would take would involve me being 17 years younger and holding
her in my arms again. I cherish the memories of those bright toothless smiles in the morning when she would wake, coos and giggles, bath times, slobbery kisses, oh....and the beautiful weed bouquets! Time passes so quickly.

We get caught up in the day to day cycles of our lives and we miss out, sometimes we miss things even when physically present. I think about times she has spoken to me and I was too deep in thought to hear. Times I felt something, or someone, else demanded my attention. I sure hope she understood, I believe she did. I wish I could have time back, but I can't.

Even though I can't bring time back there is more ahead. More time for long talks about life. More time for telling jokes, laughing, and yes... crying.

Totally understanding time is fleeting past brings me to the reality of living fully in this day.

Why has it taken so much "time" to figure this out? I don't know, but I do know that my time today is slipping by. I am going to go and make the most of THIS day.

Jen, I love you...

The Concert

2006-09-14T18:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I had the privilege of hearing Wayne O'Quin, an accomplished pianist, composer and Fellow at the Julliard School of Music, perform. I have seen Wayne several times in the past, when he was a mere child, and have never been disappointed in his performance. He is a prodigy, to say the very least. I must say that each time I have heard him, I am left speechless. He is an amazing artist and has blessed many in his wake.

As Wayne takes the bench and begins tapping the keys, he completely takes ownership of the keyboard. A tapestry of tunes, notes and colorful images are meshed into a uniqueness that only one, such as himself, could intertwine. The result is a dramatic, thrilling ride that sets you on the edge of your seat until the last note is produced.

To enhance Wayne's talent, is his unashamed faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He gives glory and honor to the name of our Lord and Savior. He recognizes his talents and gifts come from his Creator, and is open in verbalizing his faith. Matthew 10:32 tells us, "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in Heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in Heaven." Wayne does a great job at recognizing who he serves, and who has gifted him. Wayne, no doubt, will be recognized in the Heavenly kingdom!

As I experienced the emotional ride of Wayne's concert; I began to have an ideology run through my thoughts. (You knew this was coming, did you not?) The same piano Wayne was using, I have used before, however, the sound I produced was completely divergent of the sounds produced by such a skilled master.

A Master, THAT is the significant key to beautiful methodic melodies.
Wayne, being the master of the piano, sat down and took ownership of the instrument and created beauty. He was master to the instrument.

My thought was this; what if I allowed my God to take ownership of me in that same way? Could I too make beautiful creations such as this?

2 Timothy 2:21 says, "…he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work."

I believe there is a hope for me to produce beautiful creations with my life as well! I just have to bow to the Master Creator, allow Him to make the music, while I revel in the beauty of the design. What an honor it is to be a tool in the plan of my Savior and God.

I bet the piano in our sanctuary is still smiling this morning after being "manipulated" in such a way. I know I am.

Well, I am off to practice on my piano. (HA! Got Ya!) However, I was going to purchase a book of Wayne's compositions, but when I opened to the first page, there were too many black notes being played on ledger lines far above the staff. MMMM….I bought the CD instead.

The Pity Party

2006-09-10T11:32:00.000-05:00

The internet, grape juice, and a laptop is probably not the best combination for a late-night, non-alcohol drinking, internet surfing, looking for answers, such as myself, especially last night, kind of person.

I read horror story after horror story about the debilitation my new "friend" "Crohns", could "possibly" bring upon my life, fascinating......not.

I plunged myself into a depressed state of mind , and, in the midst of my "woe is me" perspective, decided to have a pity party, including tears , for most of the remnants of the night.
The pity party was inclusive of three participants; Me, Myself and I, and we were content on the party staying exclusive of all others, for the most part. (For those of you who know me, you recognize, I would hope, that this is not a part of my character. How did I come to such a point that I would have a self-absorbed pity party? I am still astonished to have found myself in such a quandary of thought.)

The accounts of ill bouts people shared were horrid, but the horror was not what reduced me to the weeping disarray mentioned above, it was, in actuality, two simple words, "chronic illness".
So the party raged on through the night, until the wee hours of the morning.

Myself, one of the party attendees, looked up and sighed, "How can this happen?"
Me, on the other hand, angrily replied, "I just dont have time for this! I have too much planned, too much to see, and too much to do!"

I, being the most realistic of the three, was a bit more contemplative, and felt that what was done was done, the three of us just needed to deal with it, and stop whining because it does nothing to change the circumstances with which we were confronted.

Me and Myself, although a bit smug, and not wanting to have a change of heart, decided they would give an ear to I, and hear her out, grudgingly of course.

I begins by stating the obvious facts of the matter:

1. Life is not always full of sunshine, rain comes for a time, and the flowers only bloom after the water has fallen.
2. Circumstances arise that are beyond our control, our reactions to the circumstances show the character we have been cultivating within the depths of our soul.
3. We must choose each day to either be "victorious over" or "victims of" our circumstances, our attitude is everything.
4. We must never allow our circumstances to dictate who we become.
5. We are not the only ones to ever be affected by illness or circumstance, get over it, deal with it, and move on!

After hearing the arguments made by I, Me and Myself began to feel a little awkward at the emotional state in which they had placed themselves.

Realizing the state of their current circumstance, they became conscious of the fact that their emotional cataclysms were futile; and nothing they did, said, or anything else would change the status quo, nor I's opinion. At this realization, I finally announced, resolutely, that the party was over.

Reluctantly, Me stood and meandered toward the door, looking back a few times just in case I invited her to sit and stay. I opened the door and quickly shoved Me through the threshold and out into the wild blue yonder, firmly slamming the door behind, as if to allow no re-entry.

Now, Myself was not as willing to leave, she still had a few points she felt were relevant to her cause, however, I had taken a stand and refused to be moved. Myself knew the demise of her points, and aversely made her way to the door, trying her best to stay, but knowing I was through with the party, and with her. A long sad stare was cast upon I as Myself slithered past, but I was unmoved. I opened the door and watched as Myself made her way out and into the darkness that encroached the world beyond. I closed and locked the door so the selfishness of Me and Myself would not enter back in.

At this, I drew in a deep breath, and reflected back on the party that had just been had. Disappointment, and a bit of anger, welled up within I for allowing such beasts to dine with her in such a way, but she knew in her heart, it would happen never again.

I knew there was a plan, one rich in victory and hope, one in which I would never be alone. The plan was Gods plan, Gods victory, and a hope that is promised to not disappoint.
Struggles, everyone has them, Jesus had his struggle on the hillside of Calvary, all the way to the cross. I see how Jesus handled His pain, His disappointment and His disparity. I choose today to handle my struggle as He, my Savior and my Lord Jesus Christ, handled His, victoriously! I claim His victory in my life today!

No, no more pity parties here, only plans, dreams and reality.

Struggles..Rejoice!

My Freedom To Procrastinate

2006-09-10T11:03:00.000-05:00

I am suppose to be writing a paper, therefore, I am setting an extremely substandard example for my intended audience..ALAN do not read this blog!

I am experiencing what several, if not ALL, college students experience at one time or another..procrastination, defined as to post pone doing something, (Encarta Dictionary), usually the inevitable, especially in my case!

Danny....aka..on myspace..Big Daddy....I know you comprehend what I am writing about! Remember the day I walked in your office and you were typing away? I asked what you were working on, I remember you telling me you were writing a paper that was due when???....the night BEFORE?? Lol. (I can hear you laughing right now! I know you remember the incident!) SMILE!

Some of you are moving several miles away from home, some hundreds, and are facing some of the same emotional issues I experienced several years ago, I will not say exactly how many....figure it out. You are experiencing the excitement of being on your own for the first time in your life, as well as the anxieties that the experience brings. Your new found freedom is exciting, as well as alarming, and it should be.

For those of you that are staying home and attending Lee College, a great school I might add, I am speaking to you as well. I am NOT in anyway minimizing the anxieties you face in the new ventures of your life. This is for you too! Read on:

Freedom. The very word draws a deep sense of an almost unexhausted list of demarcations (definitions). Things such as; being free from slavery or captivity, freedom of speech, a right to solely govern ones self.....hmmm......solely governing oneself.....freedom.....theres the alarm I was speaking about.

Freedom brings not only a world of privileges, but also an intensified amount of responsibility as well. Momma will not be there to tell you to get up, brush your teeth, dont forget to.....and DONT be late to class..or, to even go in the first place. (That comment was for Brent! Lol..be sure to ask him about his college days!)

Freedom is choice. You choose what you will do, when you will do it, and how you will accomplish whatever task you perform.

Freedom also brings an adult world, time to grow up. Do not indulge in every situation that comes your way. Not only will you be wasting your parents hard earned money, but, you will travel down a road that you never intended to, and consequences pursue. Set high standards for yourself today, do not wait until the moment to choose arises, it is then too late my friend. If you have no solid ground to stand on, you will sink, and your regrets will be many.

Freedom, in the context in which it was created by God, is a wonderful gift.

How are you going to use your new freedom?

I choose today to be victorious and experience the freedom from sin and bondage that was gifted to me by my Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ, the TRUE Son of God. I choose to release the "freedoms" the world offers, worldly "freedoms" that bind me to sin and destruction..think about it.

As for me, I am feeling a bit convicted about that paper.

As I ponder my own freedom to procrastinate, I realize my fate. I have freedom, but the consequences of my choices are inevitable. I can write the papers, or choose not to. In the same sense, I can choose to pass, or I can choose to fail. The choice is mine, the freedom is mine.

Three papers lay before me; one not begun, one needing to be completed, and one needing revision. The complexities of the restless nature of this dark spirit, procrastination, is finally beginning to be negated with an extreme desire to rise up and attain a positive goal and consequence for today, to achieve a victory! Some one hold me accountable please, Danny??

However, it IS lunch time now, and I do feel a slight grumble in my tummy, I think I will start on it after I eat!

Freedom, how are you spending yours?